I have never prayed for something so hard in my life again.. Ngayon nalang ulit.
It’s really something, ‘no? When you’ve done everything you could – from maximum efforts, sacrifices, plus tiring and frustrating days – the only thing left that you can do is pray.. Pray that everything will go according to plan and if it doesn’t, pray that you will have a grateful heart to accept what is happening.
I’ve mentioned this so much on my blog but I have always wanted to travel the world. Travelling and writing are my passions in life. They make my blood alive and lately, I have been dead. I don’t have the time (and sufficient funds) to travel and I can’t find the motivation to write sometimes (mostly: anymore).
How can I travel, save for myself, and provide for my family all at the same time? No one’s there to pressure me, but there’s a big part of me shouting that I badly wanted to help my family already. What I want for my Dad is to retire and go back home and spend everyday with my Mom. He left when my younger brother is just more or less than a year old and now, he’s on 10th grade. It’s enough for my Dad to stop working and make up to all the lost time he’s not there.
My family provided so much for me and it’s now my time to give back. Yet how? I have a job, yes, but what I’m earning will never be enough for everything. I feel like I deserve better; I know that I deserve better. Kaya sabi ko nga kanina, never akong humingi ng something kay Lord talaga, ngayon nalang ulit.
One of my favorite mantras in life is, “It’s yours if you want it bad enough.” So Lord, I’ll trust You when You say “Wait,” because You promised me that You will give me whatever my heart desires as long as I delight in You. I know that You’ve been giving me a lot of challenges and trials lately but know that I will never give up on this dream. I will be travelling the world, writing stories, saving for my future and providing for my family – all at the same time. Soon.
I know that time will come. The travel-and-lifestyle-writer freak in me can’t wait.
PS: If you may, just include in your prayers that I may have a grateful heart no matter what the outcome is. Thank you.