You don’t need to rush to have it all figured out

Remember when we were younger, when we used to think that by early 20s, we would have our life all figured out? I’ll be turning 23 this year and so far, I haven’t achieved any of those. I don’t have my own house, my own car, my own business, and I’m sure won’t be getting married anytime soon.

It’s funny to think about how we used to plan our life so beautifully when we were younger and when we reached that stage in life, we realize that we’re barely close to achieving it. That there’s not much that we can do aside from just shrugging it off and accepting that it’s okay.

.. Because it is.

It’s okay.

And I, have personally believed that my life is doing great and there’s nothing wrong with it. Just like the cliché that you always read when you come across motivational or inspirational blogs, I learned to accept that it’s okay to not be wherever I want to be right now. And wherever that place is, I am going to be there, all at my own pace.

I guess that’s what’s wrong with the generation now. Especially with social media, you cannot not compare yourself with other people’s successes in life.

You see your batchmate opening another business, your friend traveling to so many places, your ex-colleague getting promoted, your friends getting married and having a family one by one; and there you are, a smol potato trying to make ends meet with the current salary that you have from the company that you wanted to escape for so long but can’t.

Even if you tell yourself, “don’t compare,” 3000 times – it’s so hard to not compare. Trust me. I’ve been there and until now, even if I have completely accepted who I am today, there are days where I doubt myself and think of all the what-ifs that a girl like me could ever think of.

There’s this one Hindi film I’ve watched on Netflix last month called “Half-Girlfriend.” The guy protagonist, Madhav, is the son of a teacher from this small area in India; when he proposed to his mom that girls should have a place in their schools. There was a huge meeting regarding this after and one of the guy leaders said that there’s no use of sending them to school as they will “just” serve their family in the future.

Having Indian colleagues, I understood that up to this date, this still happens. And I’m not saying that all Indian families are still like this – some are completely open now – but still, it just saddens me that there are still families out there, in this modernized world, who think of their own daughters only like that. That the sole purpose of their existence is to only be a good wife to her husband and a good mother to her kids. (And take note: it’s not only in India.)

From here, we go back to what I was talking about on my previous post. Freedom.

I feel like living in the UAE made me appreciate and limited my freedom, both at the same time. It limited me, in the sense that there are lots of donts and restrictions in this country. But I understand that. I respect that.

On the other hand, it made me appreciate my freedom more after meeting so many people who have lived a completely different life than mine. Different cultures, beliefs, and a complete 360-turn of lifestyle, which will make you think that the life you are complaining about is nothing compared to the life that they are living. Not to say that your problems are invalidated – they aren’t.

I’m just saying that once you hear how limited their actions and decisions are, you will get to appreciate how free and open your life is. You will realize how you can still improve your present and your future because unlike others, you have the complete power to do it. YOU are holding your life’s own remote control. Not your friends, your family; not even your own past.

Remember when we were younger, when we used to think that by early 20s, we would have our life all figured out? Where we have clear answers to all questions about our future? What happened to that?

Nothing. Life happened to us.

We grew older – that’s what happened. We became adults who are constantly facing difficulties and taking responsibilities in our own lives. Everything gets confusing because all of a sudden, everything is changing. People change. The way you see life change. Your dreams and aspirations change. Suddenly, every little thing felt so vague, you don’t even know what’s happening anymore. Why am I still here? Why am I still working on this toxic company? Why am I still single? Why am I still stuck to where I was four or five years back? Why does it seem like everyone has moved forward and I’m still… me?

You know what? When things start to go this way, I want you to stop, breathe, and collect your thoughts for a moment. Just for a few minutes. I want you to realize that it’s okay. I want you to remind yourself that you don’t need to rush things and stress yourself by thinking that at a certain age, you should have your life all figured out. I want you to know that you’re allowed to slow down and take a break. You’re allowed to pause when everyone’s running. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to realize that some things aren’t meant for you and you’re allowed to let them go if it’s not benefiting you good. You’re allowed to start over. Most importantly, you’re allowed to run your life as slow as you want until you find the right path for you.

And if you’re still not getting what I’m trying to tell you, four words. Just take it easy. :)

Have a great weekend and may the universe help us achieve the aspirations we have for our own selves.

Love, Amielle

READ: How Muslim friends showed me a different perception in life

11 thoughts on “You don’t need to rush to have it all figured out

  1. this is such a good read, emyel!

    yung tipong yung mga plans mo nung bata ka pa eh akala mo yun na yon. but in reality, pwedeng hindi naman talaga yun yung path na para sa’yo.

    naalala ko nung highschool ako, may batchmate ako na consistent honor student simula nung elem siya, tas nung 4th yr na kami bigla siyang nalaglag sa top students. tas sabi ng isang teacher ko nun baka umabot na siya sa “peak” niya. yung tipong nawalan na siya ng goal, excitement ganun.

    kaya sobrang true yung you don’t need to rush to have it all figured out.

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  2. The first few paragraphs make me comment, “Luh… 35 na ko this year, and I envy you being young, beautiful and fit.” Haha.

    “You’re allowed to start over.” -THIS.

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  3. You are still young compare to me, 31 na ako but I am still here. Di ko pa din masabi sa sarili ko that I achieved yung really goal ko in life although nabibili ko naman ang material things na need ko at ng family ko. I know you will get far and I know WE WILL :)

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  4. Once you’ve seen things in different perspectives, it opens your mind more. And kahit hindi ako yung mismong nakakita ng perspectives na yon, by reading this post, it already inspires me a lot 🤗 salamat amielle 🤗 very timely yung post na ito 🤣😅

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  5. “you’re allowed to run your life as slow as you want” –> dibaa! you articulated so many thoughts that ran through my mind as I was navigating my twenties. To have this insight in your early twenties, when you have so many years ahead of you, is such a gift. it will serve you well. haha natawa ako sa smol potato kasi ginagamit talaga namin yan na term in my previous job that was super stressful to refer to ourselves. vs people who don’t respond to our emails. also it’s an amazing mindshift on our part to realize that we have an ageist culture din. na parang may timeline at certain age lang for learning new things or going on adventures or we’re too old to do whatever. it’s freeing to realize that we can just do it when we want and how fast/slow we want. echos andami kong feelings. love seeing your posts Amielle!

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  6. 1 year na lang and iiwan ko na yung teen years ko and I’m so afraid na baka di ko magawa ang plans ko sa life someday after ko makagraduate and makahanap ng work. Kasi iniisip ko ang bilis lang ng panahon. Baka mapag-iwanan ako. Baka iba ang maging path ko bigla But after reading this napaisip ako.. you don’t need to rush and pressure yourself. Kung siguro di ko man magawa yung mga plans ko in life on the time that I set it di man ibig sabihin non di ko na pwedeng gawin o maabot yon sa mga darating na panahon pa, di ba? :) siguro everything has it’s own time lang talaga :)

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  7. 1 year na lang and I’m going to leave my ‘teen years’ and after ilang years I will graduate and find my own work. Medyo kabado ako sa adult responsibilities and I was thinking talaga lately kung ma-achieve ko pa kaya mga plans ko someday kasi baka biglang magbago path ko. Eh ang bilis lang ng panahon. Baka mapag-iwanan ako. But after reading this blog I realize na you don’t need to rush and pressure yourself after all. Di naman siguro ibig sabihin na di mo nagawa yung mga plans mo on the time that you set it, di mo na pwedeng magawa yon. Syempre possible pa rin lalo na kung gusto mo talaga maa-achieve. Everything has it’s own time lang talaga.

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  8. Wow this was such an an amazing and beautiful post to read! 😍 Thank you!! I needed to hear these words as I feel like this so much. I’m 26 now and still struggle to find a job also because of anxiety. It’s just harder for me and I have to tell myself it’s okay like you wrote. Society creates this false sense of time like we have to do things at a certain age. It’s just not true because we are all different and we can do the things on our own way and time. It’s okay to not be okay too 💗 Love you xxx

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  9. Everything you say is honestly so real, I’d always compare myself to others and be like why why why? Why don’t I have that many friends? Why don’t I get to travel? Why don’t I have my career going already? Why haven’t I made any progress on my love life? And it is honestly so painful, because I feel inadequate in every way. And I think its interesting that you got such a perspective on life based on where you were living. I think the most important thing is to not freak out, its not productive anyways, figure out your next step from here instead of looking at all the time passed.
    Thank you for this post, it makes me feel less alone. ❤❤❤

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  10. What gorgeous photos btw!! Love this post, it’s honestly so important to not compare ourselves to other people…everyone’s got a different schedule and things will fall into place when they need to xx

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